A Decepticon Christmas
by GothicLolita009 aka Hayley M
Summary: Christmas-with myself, tf-fan and the Decepticons! Please R&R.
1. Prologue

After reading a review from Sailor Titain, I've decided to fulfill her request on behalf of tf fan and do Christmas--with the Decepticons! Brace yourselves! Oh yeah...I don't own anything except the plot--if that.  
  
It was a crisp, clear, and COLD day in December, and for once the ramparts were silent. The only sound in the Decepticon base was that of humming and happy music...

__

_Trim up the tree with Christmas stuff  
Like bingle balls, and whofoo fluff  
Trim up the town with goowho gums and bizilbix and wums  
Trim every blessed window and trim every blessed door  
Hang up whoboohoo bricks  
Then run out and get some more!_

Hang pantookas on the ceilings  
Pile pankunas on the floor  
Trim every blessed needle on the blessed Christmas tree  
Christmas comes tomorrow  
Trim you, trim me!

Trim up your pets with fuzzle fuzz  
And whiffer bloofs, and wuzzle wuzz  
Trim up your uncle and your aunt  
With yards of whofut flant

Trim every house in Whoville from the cellar to the roof  
Hang up a mile of dafflers  
And three miles of snaffer snoof!  
Hang dang-donglers on the bathtub  
Trim the occupant the with floof  
To every home in Whoville and to every blessed Who  
Christmas comes tomorrow  
Trim me, trim you!

Trim up the tree with Christmas stuff  
Like bingle balls, and whofoo fluff  
Trim up the town with goowho gums  
And bizilbix and wums...  
Trim up the tree with bizilbix and wums!

Haley and her friend the Authoress were putting the finishing touches on the main throne room of the Decepticon base as a drowsy Megatron emerged from his quarters with a loud yawn. The girls immediately exchanged glances, sharing the same look of utter terror and fear. They quickly hid behind the throne as the Decepticon general walked into the room.   
  
Megatron could hardly believe what he saw as he entered his throne room. In the middle was a large green tree covered with twinkling lights and pretty decorations in every color of the spectrum. Glass swans and ballet slippers twinkled in the light, and a shining silver star adorned the top. Garlands in pine bedecked with red, gold, and blue ribbons lined the entrances, exits, and hung from the ceiling. Wreaths hung in strategic places on the walls, along with additional twinkling lights. All in all, it was a beautiful sight.   
  
If Megatron had been a time bomb, it would have been possible to sense his ticking. Haley and the Authoress cringed from their hiding place.  
  
Haley/Authoress: Three.....Two.....One....  
  
Megatron: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DARK MATRIX IS THIS??!!!  
  
The sheer power and noise of Megatron's bellow brought all the Decepticons from their quarters and into the throne room. What they saw shocked and disgusted them.  
  
Decepticons: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DARK MATRIX IS THIS??!!!  
  
Very, very, VERY slowly, Haley and the Authoress emerged from their hiding place, smiling sheepishly.  
  
Haley: Erm....Merry Christmas?  
  
All Decepticons: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DARK MATRIX IS THIS??!!!  
  
Haley: Calm down, calm down. You see, here on Earth we have a VERY special holiday, celebrated by people all over the world. It's called...  
  
Authoress: CHRISTMAS!  
  
Haley/Authoress: And WE decorated your base!  
  
Megatron, Starscream, Demolisher and Tidal Wave all examined the decorations more closely, interest and puzzlement on their faceplates. Cyclonus toyed with the lights, careful not break a single one. Megatron's anger quickly cooled as interest overcame it.  
  
Megatron: What was the holiday called again?  
  
Haley: Christmas. It's a time for peace and good will for everyone. We decided to share our Christmas joy with you.   
  
Authoress: Actually, Haley thought that you guys were--  
  
Haley: quickly slaps a hand over her mouth Keep quiet, girl. We don't need them to know that...o-kay.  
  
Authoress: nods  
  
Haley/Authoress: Can it stay? Puh-leeeeeeeeeze?   
  
Both girls looked up at the Decepticon general with starry eyes, begging him to let them keep their little Christmas project. Megatron was silent for a moment, before turning to Starscream.  
  
Megatron: What do you think?  
  
Starscream: Well, it IS a lot more...colorful. I don't see the harm in it, Meagtron.   
  
Megatron: --()...Fine. They can stay.  
  
Haley and her friend jumped up and down for joy, cheering loudly.   
  
Megatron: Be quiet!  
  
Haley/Authoress: Yes, sir.  
  
Well, this is where I'll stop for now! Please leave reviews and let me know what you think! Also, HELP! I need direction! points to the Review button in the corner.


	2. Preperations

On with Chapter two, Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far--I may not say it often enough, but I really do appreciate it a bunch.  
  
Megatron: There is no way in the Inferno that you will EVER get me to do that!  
  
The sound of his name made the pyro-happy ant-warrior of the Beast Wars series come bounding into the hall, bowing and whimpering for joy.  
  
BW Inferno: Royalty, I--  
  
Inferno's speech is cut short by Megatron, who grins from behind a smoking fusion cannon.   
  
Megatron: I never did like him anyway.....Now, back to the business at hand. There is no...way...you...will...EVER get me to do that, Haley! I let you decorate the base, and that should be enough.  
  
Haley: erp But Megatron, it makes no sense to just....hog the Christmas spirit. You have to pass it on to others. And inviting the Autobots here for Energon and Christmas dinner would be a wonderful way to do that. Can't you allow it just once?  
  
Megatron: And let them into our base?! No!  
  
Rolling her eyes, Haley matches Megatron's anger with her own.  
  
Haley: Look, Meggie-boy...the Autobots can be kept out of places you don't want them poking around in. Haven't you thought of that?! You're all going to be together in the same room...no one can sneak out without someone knowing about it, eh? C'mon, what do you say.  
  
Megatron narrowed his optics at the Human girl, looking ready to squish her to a puddle of goo in one hand. Or maybe he would have Leader-1 do it for him. But then he considered what she said...and it was the truth. Calming his raging temper, Megatron sighed to himself.  
  
Megatron: Fine, Haley. And don't ever, ever call me that again.   
  
Meanwhile at the Autobots base, the ever-incomporable Authoress is persuading Optimus and the others of the same thing. Which, to tell the truth, wasn't that hard.  
  
Hotshot: A feast?! And the Decepti-goons are providing?! All right!  
  
Authoress: Wait a second! It's not good manners to just go waltzing in and make them do all the work, even if they are evil. It's only proper to take something with us....  
  
Hotshot: --() I don't see why...  
  
Optimus: Hotshot, listen...she's right. It wouldn't be good manners--and Haley's doing good just to talk Megatron into this. We'll bring something to share. Jetfire, there's some high-octane Energon lying around this base somewhere, right?  
  
Jetfire: Yes, sir, I think so...  
  
Optimus: Then go and get it--and take Scavanger, Blur and Sideswipe with you. We'll load it for travel to the Moon base. 


	3. The Party

Sorry to keep everyone waiting so long! Here is the third and final chapter!  
  
As evening descends over Earth, the Autobots warp into the Decepticon Lunar base, armed with high-octane Energon, tanks of oil, and several boxes wrapped with many-colored bows. The Authoress is with them.   
  
On the other side, Haley and the Decepticons stand together, the tension between the two factions ready to burst.   
  
Haley: runs over to her friend and hugs her, setting the example "Merry Christmas, hon."  
  
Authoress: hugs back "Merry Christmas, Haley!"  
  
Within moments, The Autobots and Decepticons are milling about in the warp area, exchanging reserved greetings and well wishes. Optimus and Megatron shake hands, and generally greet each other's soldiers.   
  
In the decorated main hall, long tables are set up--one with Transformer-sized things, and the other with Human sized things. Several faces familiar to both authoresses are in attandence, thanks to the magic of Haley's teleporting machine.   
  
Haley and her friend sit at opposite ends of the Human-sized table.  
  
Haley: "Let the celebration begin!" starts to plow her way into turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet rolls, Parker Houe rolls, corn, steamed carrots, various other vegetables, and salad, pouring herself a glass of sparkling cider.   
  
Megatron: Optimus Prime....in the spirit of the holiday...I welcome you to our base. I hope you will accept these...humble offerings, and for tonight anyway...our....friendship.   
  
Optimus: In the spirit of Christmas, Megatron, my men and I accept. sits down at table at the same time as Megatron, with their men following suit.   
  
TF (Authoress): Haley...did you hear?  
  
Haley: looks up from her plate "Yes, I did. I asked Megatron to set the mood for the evening. After all, it's his base."  
  
TF: How did you get him to listen?  
  
Haley: "I told him it was a request and not an order. He's been very good lately. I've gotten him a present for later." winks  
  
After dinner, the Autobots and Decepticons gathered around the tree and exchanged gifts. Most of the gifts were tailored to each individual, and generally everyone walked away from the gift exchange happy. Afterward, it was the Autobots turn, and they broke out the Energon. Glasses were passed around, and everyone drank some. A half hour later, the Energon has had its effect.  
  
Haley: Now that I have your...undivides attention, I have a special surprise for you....We're going to have a special Christmas movie marathon tonight and into the morning!   
  
A groan is the only response.  
  
Haley: It will begin with the Christmas staple...'How the Grinch Stole Christmas,' followed by 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' and 'Ebbie.' Afterward, the primere of 'Love Actually,' starring one of my favorite actors, Liam Neeson. Following the primere will be a series of wonderful little short Christmas cartoons which you are sure to enjoy. And when THAT is over, 'To Grandmother's House We Go,' featuring Mary-Kate and Ashley! We will end the movie marathon with a presentation of 'The Greatest Story Ever Told.'  
  
TF: Isn't that an Easter movie?  
  
Haley: Sure it is, but it shows the whole life of Christ. His birth is what Christmas is really about. Besides, I think they deserve a good movie.   
  
Megatron: groans "Prime?"  
  
Optimus: Yes, Megatron?  
  
Megatron: Better crack open that last barrel of Energon.....it's going to be a long, long night.  
  
Jetfire: Will do....Hey, Starscream...wanna help?  
  
Starscream: Sure...unlike them, we flyers can hold our liquor.  
  
Jetfire. Not Thrust.  
  
Thrust: appears in his cage, cuddling with his Squidward dolly and wearing a Santa hat "MERRY CHRISTMAS, SQUIDDIE! MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOON! MERRY--"  
  
Haley: holds Thrust's vocal processor in her hand, tossing it up in the air and catching it "At least he can't talk anymore. I'll get Red Alert to fix it tomorrow."  
  
Red Alert: lifts his head up slightly "The hell you say, Haley..."  
  
Haley: sighs "All right, everyone, what do we say?"  
  
Autobots and Decepticons: From all of us, to all of you--  
  
Meagtron: "Squishies! OUCH!" is hit with Skuld's extendable mallet by Haley  
  
Haley: Do it right!   
  
Megatron: "Okay, okay....." mumbles something   
  
Haley: What was that?  
  
Megatron: Erm...Nothing, my lady.  
  
Haley: Thought so...now start again.  
  
Autobots and Decepticons: From all of us, to all of you....MERRY CHRISTMAS!  
  
Haley/Authoress: We Wish you a Merry Christmas  
  
We Wish you a Merry Christmas  
  
We Wish you a Merry Christmas  
  
And a Happy New Year!  
  
Good tidings we bring  
  
To you and your kin.  
  
Good tidings for Christmas  
  
And a Happy New Year!  
  
And with that sentiment, Autobots and Decepticons alike prepare for the "Movie Marathon...."  
  
Okay, it's short, I know....but I'm not very fueled up on ideas at the moment, unfortuantly. Please read, review, and let me know what you think! 


End file.
